Father's Day

A week or two ago a sister at church stopped me in the parking lot to tell me how touched she had been during the closing song of Sacrament meeting.  She looked up and saw Ian walking and cradling E and tenderly singing the closing song to her.  It made her day.

Trampoline

My friend Juanita told me that a little trampoline was the best purchase she had made for her kids.  I happened to find one last week for a great price and Q has already gained loads of coordination!  And he's loving bouncing!  He can bounce on both feet or one, already!  He loves jumping onto it from the couch.

Of course I didn't pull the camera out until he was getting tired (again!) but I did get some cute footage.  My favorite part is "Good job, Momma!  Good job!"  How adorable is that?  And with a thumbs up!

Wow

At three months old our little E has DOUBLED her birthweight!  Wow.  She ain't starving, eh?

She's also laughing and giggling.  Here's a clip of playing with Daddy.

It is definite now that E is allergic to strawberries.  When I eat them she is screaming, writhing and not sleeping or eating for days.  Bummer.  I'm noticing that my diet is seriously hampered without any dairy as well.

Ian and I have been a bit mystified by Q's refusal to pray with us.  We've had about 10 Family Home Evening lessons on what prayer is, what it looks like, why we pray and what it looks like. Ian went up to his parents house last weekend and discovered that Q will pray if everyone is in a circle holding hands!  Oh happy day!  I was getting worried about my sweet boy.

I discovered this last week that playing primary songs in the car calms my kids down for long drives.  That's lovely since they HATE their carseats!

Emmeline's Photo Shoot

Add caption

Desiree worked her magic again.  I could sit and stare at these pictures all day long.



Emmeline in her blessing gown.

Two Months

Emmeline had her 2 month check up last week.  She had gained 6 ounces in one week!  She weighed in at 14 pounds 6 ounces!  And she's gained 1 to 1 1/2 inches since birth, depending on how you count her birth measurements.  She was 23.5 inches long!  For her 2 month birthday she's graduated to size 2 diapers.  Already!

A friend shared on Sunday how excited she was to finally figure out what E reminded her of ...a Cabbage Patch Doll!  My cute little punkin is quite a chunk.  She's got really kissable cheeks!

My Babes

At one month old my little Emmeline is measuring in at almost 13 lbs. That's almost 5 lbs over birthweight! Good grief! At about 2 weeks old she became voraciously hungry and hasn't slowed down since.

We've noticed a general sense of discomfort in her demeanor as she's almost constantly wiggling and grunting, so this week I'm trying to go off dairy to see if that helps. It has seemed to help as long as I remember. It's easy to remember not to drink milk or eat cheese or yogurt. It's not so easy to remember to avoid cheese crackers, milkshakes or when it's an ingredient. We pay for it when I forget, so that's helping me to remember.

Quintin seems to have grown by leaps and bounds the last month. When we came home from the hospital his vocabulary seemed to have doubled! He has such a sense of humor now and says hilarious things.

• Anything with wheels is a 'bicle' and he walks around answering 'No Way!' to most questions. Sometimes he says "Su-ure."
• He cracks up making faces with you and has started playing a little bit of 'pretend.'
• He interacts with the tv now and has to come to me to discuss the latest dilemma on a show that he's watching. "Uh-oh Momma, tapir home!" "Oh-no Momma, snake gone?"
• Not long ago I asked "Quintin, what are you doing?" and he responded "Nuthin." HA! My 2 year old is already starting!
  
• He's truly turned into a ham when people have come over (lots of helpers coming this last month). They walk in the door and he starts showing off!
• While he's talking he interjects "um" into his sentences!
• Whenever he sees one of our phones he immediately pipes up "Game! Game! Game - phone!"
• 

Emmeline's Arrival

Well, so much for my hopes of an easier recovery this time around...

Emmeline made her debut on Tuesday, February 28th at 7:54 AM. Our little spitfire was wailing before they even had her out of my tummy. Curiously I did indeed have polyhydramnios again. When they opened the sack the pressure release actually shifted her and they had to use the vacuum on her hairy head to get her out. They measured about 3 liters of amniotic fluid when all was said and done. My doctor commented on it several times.

I was surprised to hear that she weighed in at the same weight as Quintin, 8 lb 10 oz. But even more surprising was her length; 22.5 inches long. Giant baby! She's certainly started out long and skinny.

I was not fond of the yucky meds I had to take. Even though it was kind of cool that I could feel my feet but no pain, in general I felt awful; general disorientation, nausea, and I was vomiting during the procedure. Let me tell you, that's not fun when you're flat on your back! It took me hours to feel undrugged. I had to have others put her on me in recovery and try to breastfeed because I was so weak and shaky. Much to our delight she latched to the nipple shield right away. I was so excited. She defiinitely got some colostrum in her first few days, the normal way.

My recovery was horrid. Much worse than last time. My stomach was so bloated afterwards I looked like I was still about 6 months pregnant. This alarmed me, plus it hurt to even touch my stomach. In addition my GI system stopped, this was what caused the bloating according to them. I was in so much pain I was terrified of what would happen when it started working again. All the staff and doctors were telling me that all of this was common for a repeat C-section...everything was stretched out more. None of my friends every said that. I was so hot from hormonal something the first day I could hardly handle having a sheet over me, poor Ian was freezing. Plus being on my back for so long I was itching like crazy. I was also lucky to get even 4 hours of sleep a day while in the hospital, and once I got home. I was several days after I got home before I got a decent amount of sleep. Lucky for me my ob is LDS, so he and Ian gave E and I blessings after the delivery.

I was afraid to leave the hospital before some of those things started acting normally again. They had started the blood thinners again about 12 hours after the procedure. They took the staples out Friday morning and I started leaking blood in my incision Friday afternoon (during the echocardiogram they were doing on Emmeline to identify the heart murmur they had heard that morning). This also had not happened before. All they did was apply a pressure bandage and call it good. Well, it didn't turn out to be good. I've now been back to the doctors office (1 hour away) about 4 times for the incision to be checked and re-bandanged. It continued to bleed out and actually opened back up again. I got so sick of paper tape residue on my tummy! Luckily it hasn't gotten infected and won't. They say it's a 2 week set back, I'm now at the point I should have been when I came home.

Emmeline's breastfeeding abilities deteriorated after a few days. She chewed instead of sucking so I relented and gave her a bottle. Luckily I only have to pump 4 times a day to keep up with her needs. We've been to lactation and now also a cranial osteopath to try to help her. She's still chewing, but we are hoping for improvement, soon. After two weeks she's already 1 lb over birth weight. I'd say she's getting enough to eat! I'm also back to pre-pregnancy weight so I'm happy. Once my GI tract started again my tummy went away.

The cardiologists at Children's Hospital said E's heart murmur was nothing to worry about after saying otherwise before we were discharged. Good news; just wish we hadn't had to drag all of us to Seattle to hear it.

So Momma and baby are doing much better. I feel like I can finally relax and start enjoying my children now. Dr. appointments are all done. Quintin loves his new sister. He couldn't stop talking about the baby for the first week or two. What a relief.

This next week is her baby blessing. :)

Ups and Downs

UP: My friend Desiree asked me recently if I'd be willing to pose for her photography hobby practice. Sure! I wouldn't mind maternity photos! She's going to do newborn photos as well. So here's her awesome work sprinkled throughout my post!

DOWN: Lately I've been baffled at the number of my friends who are suffering with spousal abuse. It has been a challenge to "let go" and not try to solve their problems or rescue them. It's also been a bit overwhelming to not be bogged down with the sadness and frustration that their situations stirs in my heart for women I love. This year has truly been a multitude of opportunities for me to glimpse the problems of different marriages. ~adding to my overall perspective, I guess. I pray that they will find peace and resolution, soon, as well as divine intervention.

UP: At the last check, Emmeline's polyhydramnios is better. Here's hoping she doesn't have muscle problems!

DOWN: I found out the morning of my baby shower (T minus 10 days to baby) that a boy in Q's nursery class had been diagnosed with whooping cough. AND he had been vaccinated. Thus began several hours of phone tag with my Ob's office, the county health department nurse and Q's Dr office. Plaaaah! Not coincidentally Q had started some strange symptoms that VERY morning. His nose started running, the phlegm in his throat was actually altering his voice! I was terrified of the implications. My OB had explained how fatal pertussis is to a newborn. I didn't want to be quarantined from my little boy, or anything like unto it! The CHD nurse was extremely thorough and helpful. She arranged for Ian and my Dr to prescribe antibiotics immediately, then advised on how to get Q's antibiotics since his Dr office was NOT responding, nor would they according to her. He and I packed up and went straight to the Everett Clinic Walk-In where they deliberated on his insurance vs. our precarious situation (ie expecting baby). They decided to take him, but we then had to sit in the waiting room for 2 hours to be the last on the list to be seen. They had asked for him to wear a mask (pshaa!) and keep away from other people ( double pshaa!). Right. My 2 year old social butterfly? That didn't happen. Anyway, since I had the CHD recommendation EVERYONE took us seriously and did exactly as asked. We all got our antibiotics so ENSURE baby E's safety on her arrival. Interestingly, I learned that most vaccines are only 80-90% effective. So, even though we had all been vaccinated, we could still get it.

What a stressful afternoon that was! It got so late that Ian actually had to meet me at the clinic to take Q and pick up our prescriptions so I could get to the baby shower on time! And it was raining so hard we were drenched just getting to the car. Two days later Ian got REALLY sick...good thing he was already on meds.

UP: Desiree also put on my baby shower! What a dear! She put a lot of work into it as well. Her decorations were adorable, lots of yummy homemade food, and great activity. Instead of the traditional silly games she prepared a craft. Everyone got to decorate a onesie with iron-on fabric. I thought it was awesome, and they were all adorable! Some very creative ladies came!

UP: Also, my cousins Carl and Chris from the Portland area surprised me by coming up that night! I was shocked to see them walk in the door! I got to meet their baby Chance, as well as Ronin, Pete and Sarah's new baby. Sadly, I couldn't hang out with them the rest of the weekend since we had the whooping cough scare, so they partied with other relatives the rest of the weekend.

Thank you Desiree for all your work! It was all beautiful and very well done!

UP: On our last visit to Children's Urology for Q we learned that his dilation is actually reducing. Yeah! Not much left to worry about there. They will still monitor him, but nothing to worry about.

These are pictures of the amazing blue spotted hermit crab in the Whale floor aquarium.

Oh, and I forgot...UP: I died my hair purple. I've always wanted to do a fun color and since I had nothing coming up I would feel silly doing with purple hair I did it. It was fun. And temporary.

So there's good news, and there's bad news.

The good news is we've picked a first name for our little girl. This in fact makes her seem more real. I think she's been waiting quite a while for us to commit, poor thing. Back in the fall I was skimming through the new LDS Relief Society book and saw the name Emmeline (4th RS Pres) and it totally hit me. I mean, it hit me. I took note, but I wasn't really sold on it. I do like uncommon names because I don't want my kid to be the 3rd Sarah in their class at school or anything like that. Later my sister told me how we actually have an Emeline in our family history, which is cool, too. It really is a beautiful old name.

I've looked through hundreds and hundreds of names. Then I write the name Emmeline down and it hits me again. I think this girl wants her name to be Emmeline. Ian likes it, too, so we're pretty happy with it. We're down to two middle names so we'll let you know when that is decided on. So, we're now looking forward to welcoming our little Emmeline into the world!

They think she's already past 8lbs! Geesh! Women with my condition usually have small babies because of the placenta problems, instead my womb likes to have diabetes big babies. Something to be grateful for, I guess.

Not so good news...

I had my last ultrasound yesterday and it clearly indicated polyhydramnios again,

Refresher: this means there is too much amniotic fluid around the baby, 29 cm. I think the number is supposed to be in the teens. This usually indicates the baby isn't swallowing as much fluid as they ought to be.

There are three indicators for concern, and luckily I only have one of the three, the number, so they weren't even going to be concerned until I told them about what happened with Quintin; muscle strain-caused tongue tie, muscle spasm and delays. Now the whole thing is on their radar and they plan to check little Emmeline out head to toe when she makes her debut.

I KNOW that she will be fine and we'll get her the therapy she needs if she needs it, but I'm heartbroken that she's likely to have the same problems breastfeeding as Q did. I mean, I've come to terms that I have to give myself shots every day even after she's born. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never birth one of my babies naturally. My last ditch yearning was to be able to feed her the way God intended. Yes, I did pump for Q until he was 9 months old, but the prospect of doing that full time with a baby and 2 year old does not seem likely. So, I'm delighted she'll be here soon and sad at the possible loss of our bonding opportunity. I hope to have Ian and his dad give us a blessing this weekend to see if a miracle can occur to heal her the last few weeks. I'd LOVE my fears to be proven wrong.

Testimony

Last week our bishop got up and spoke about bearing testimonies on fast Sunday. He shared that an investigator had left the last fast Sunday with no intention of returning because of the lack of true testimony bearing of Christ (being a returned missionary I know this was not the first time). Today was FANTASTIC! All but one person that got up gave a REAL testimony without travel-logs, sermons or family updates. Plus we went overtime by 10 minutes because people couldn't help but get up and share their own testimony! Usually there's lots of long awkward pauses. I felt like I was going to explode, I wanted to get up but there was never a break. I had to give the bishop a hug afterwards in gratitude for reminding everyone what the real purpose of this day was, and the consequence of not honoring it. I don't know about anybody else, but hearing someone else bear testimony of the gospel not only invites the Spirit, but it starts the wheels in my heart turning and clarifying where my testimony lies and what I know to be true.

Recently I have been learning that the beautiful basic principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that I have taught and learned for many years are applicable in my current life today. Somehow I never generalized them from initial faith in the plan of Salvation and 'enduring to the end' to actual concrete application to what I am going through right now, today, in the moment. I've been stuck and frustrated in certain aspects of my life lately and when we studied in a recent group ~ the words of the prophets spoke those basic principles and how they applied to my conundrum. I was baffled that I had missed the connection and it renewed my testimony of how beautiful the plan of our Heavenly Father is.

I've heard TOO many people complain and complain about how Sunday School and lesson manuals each week are boring and just the same old basics; they want meatier, heavier doctrine because they are 'above' the 'beginner' stuff. That's not boring! That's the Lord's plan because those basic principles can and need to be generalized into every life experience. If we come to church/class with a prayer in our heart for the Spirit to teach us how to apply that day's lesson to our life, HE WILL!

One example is a metaphor I taught as a missionary about Faith. Imagine you are standing in a beam of light. Everything outside your light circle is dark and you can't see it. Acting on faith is like stepping outside the circle even though you can't see what's there (if anything). And then when you get there your circle of light actually gets bigger and you find that you can see much more than you could before every time you take that step into the dark. I usually taught this to investigators or recent converts but whadayaknow? Right here, today, I need to have faith that that thing the Lord is telling me to do is doable. I need to take that step of faith and then I'll find out that even though that step scared me crazy, the Lord is holding my hand and will guide the way. I will grow stronger and smarter following his direction.

The longer I live the more I see that He asks us to do some really HARD things in order to progress. I don't know why some things are necessary, but instead of being resentful I'm going to be grateful for the things I'm learning and look for those opportunities when He wants me to share what I've learned to help another. I am so grateful for personal revelation. He truly does answer our prayers and righteous desires of our heart.

I recently heard a great metaphor. A woman found herself in a very difficult situation and prayed that the Lord would take it away. She happened to have a huge dirt pile obstructing the view outside one of her windows which she also wished away. The next day a little tractor came and started moving the dirt, scoopful by scoopful. Pshah! It was going to take it a really long time to move that whole pile. As the days went by she began to realize that this was the Lord's answer to her prayer. He would help with the situation, but little by little, day by day, step by step. Resolution was a goal in the future that would take time.

After the last year I think this is what he's doing in my life as well. I've been studying and pondering on different applications of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and every time I was ready for a new breakthrough he gave me the mini-lesson I needed right then to continue finding the hope and healing I was looking for. This happened again this past week so it's quite vivid in my heart. For some reason I, and almost everyone I know, grew up thinking that the Atonement was meant for repentance and forgiveness of sins. I don't know if I wasn't listening in Sunday School or if they never taught that it's actually applicable in every aspect of the process of progression. Everything that provides Hope and Healing is rooted in Christ's Atonement. I am so grateful for the Savior!

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that Christ lives and directs living prophets today. I know that Heavenly Father loves each one of us individually, deeply and intimately. I know that the scriptures are the Word of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that Joseph Smith did see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and did restore the true church of Jesus Christ again upon the earth. I know that families CAN be together forever. I know that men are that they might have joy! And it is only possible in this mortal life through our Savior Jesus Christ. I bear my testimony in His name, Amen!

Momma, what doing?

Last week (before the blizzard) Q and I were walking in the state park. He was leading, of course, and about every 50 yards he'd turn around and use the questioning pose of upturned palms, tilted head and shrugging shoulders to ask "Momma, what doing?"

I don't think there's anything cuter in the world. I would love to catch a video of it sometime.

His new word this week is found/find. Also adorably cute. We've had to search for Buzz ("Where Buzz?") several times a day since Christmas so he's had a lot of practice learning the word. Now he gets excited when he's looking for one of us and says "I found you!"

I LOVE this little guy!

It has also been a joy to see him discover snow. The first day was the most fun because there was only about 5 inches. Since then it's about a foot, which is the whole length of his legs so, walking in it is not so fun. He loves it until it gets in his face. Watching the wonder on his face! He and Daddy made a snowman the first day and tramped around to look at everything. We tried sledding, which is fun until it sprays in your face again. He was completely silent for about the first 15 minutes of our drive out in it yesterday, just watching everything in white. I have to say it was beautiful to look at when I didn't feel the need to focus on the road so much. Thankfully a snow plow has visited our little road or we never would have made an escape. I love driving on white roads!