Visitors

These beauties stopped by to visit this week. I was really excited because I've never seen these birds before - EVER. There really are advantages to having bird feeders. These are called Evening Grosbeaks. Sorry the picture is a bit blurry, the bird feeder was swinging, but I'm glad I actually took it myself this time. You can't tell in the picture, but these guys are as big as parrots! I had to call my neighbor to ask him what they were since I noticed them out the window. And this one is a Varied Thrush. Orange! They are about the size of a robin. I've seen hummingbirds and robins back this week, too. They must have been faked out by the warm weather last week, 'cause it's freezing and snowing this week!

Q pulled his 'baby gym' out from under the crib this week so I decided to set it back up for him. We had put it away because we thought he was done with it. He's loving it! His occupational therapist keeps bringing over this tunnel to try to get him to crawl through it and he won't have anything to do with it, I think it scares him. But give him the gym and he's crawling figure 8's around the sides. It's rather amusing to watch him.

It's hard to describe how liberating it is now that Q can crawl (he actually stopped walking for about a week, I think he was listening to the therapists admonitions). He used to fuss after just a few minutes when I'd set him down because he got bored. Now when he's bored he moves to what he wants. I just have to watch that he doesn't get into anything dangerous. I can even have him in primary with me again without major difficulty. What a blessing.

He's starting to wave bye-bye more regularly now, that's fun. He likes patty-cake because he can roll his arms and clap his hands. We discovered he loves cantaloupe and kiwi, but only tolerates papaya and mango. I'm thinking he's mildly allergic to dairy because he's gotten rashes ever since we started feeding it to him. I'm not sure what we're going to do about it yet.

By the way, I posted some hilarious videos of him, but since I started the post in January it's back a ways. So, if you want to see them scroll down. I think his belly laugh is one of the best sounds in the world.

February

Q started crawling at the end of January and has started walking like crazy this week. He gets more adventurous each day. He'll now walk about 8 feet across a room! He's also started climbing attempts; like over the gate guarding the fireplace! He's loving his new found freedom, he can follow Mom and Dad anywhere in the house, and he can get into all the cupboards. He's also refusing to sit down very long in the bathtub anymore. He immediately gets up and plays with the faucet. I just hope he doesn't fall and knock teeth out or something. This week he discovered splashing with his hands. Oh man was I drenched as he giggled and laughed. It is so much fun to see him learn and discover new things. Lately he's been using his hands a lot. Turning pages, etc. Books are now lots of fun...that is if he lets you read the page before he turns it.

The other day it was warm and sunny so I let him go through the sliding door onto the porch. oooo, that was fun! Today we stopped to watch deer pass through our yard as we were loading into the car, too cool.Ian and I went to the stake Valentine's dance with his parents. That was fun, there aren't nearly enough dancing opportunities for married people as there were for us when we were single. Q had his 3rd youth babysitter and miraculously didn't get injured! What a relief. Last time he fell and split his lip open. The time before that he got bit by a dog.

We spent the last week trying to recover from a family cold. I can't tell if Q's problem is the cold or incoming teeth. He's been a mite fussy. We've been brainstorming things we could get him to eat besides milk, water and crackers. He liked mac & cheese but did not like our crab dinner last night! I am so happy he was willing to eat baby food again last night...maybe we can use it up now and clear cupboard space! He's decided he likes juice and will almost drain the cup in one sitting. Pretty soon he'll be stuck with whatever we're eating. I wonder how that will go over. I'm in the process of trying to get him off the bottle. I can tell this will be a long process, he won't even drink milk from a sippy cup.

I had a feeling the other day that someone was missing. When I've heard other people say that they talk about having another kid. I've been wondering if that's it or if it's because Andrew's not here with us. I'll probably never know. I'm SO grateful for Q, our little miracle boy. He is so precious!

Today

Today was the day we finally had to put up a gate to protect the cat food and litter.

Today is the day my baby is finally free.

Splendid

I had forgotten how truly splendid the forest air is. Sweet, refreshing, lovely. It started coming through the car vents driving home last night. Ahhh

Hope, shots and MOPS

I went to MOPS for the 1st time yesterday. It was awesome, I'm really excited to go now. They had a whole bunch of grandma's and grandpa's in the nursery for Q to snuggle with. I thought that was really sweet. We had to leave early but one of these days we'll go to the whole thing. I was impressed at how organized and supportive it was. I'm really excited, wish I'd started this months ago.

Q had his 12 month check up yesterday. We hate shots! On our way out I had to use the restroom and didn't want to sit him on the floor so I stood him up next to the wall. When he saw me use the tp he began maneuvering over to it. I tried to block him so instead he reached between my legs and grabbed the toilet! Gross, lol, just can't win. Now I had to wash his hands and mine! TP would have been better! How do mom's with more than one kid do this? Next we went to the country store to buy wood pellets. I was so distracted I drove off to the gas station before I realized I'd forgotten to drive around back to pick up the bags! Silly, silly.

Two days ago I slammed my head into a pointy doorknob. Man did that hurt! I'd almost forgotten about it until I started scrubbing my hair in the shower today. Ouch! How long does it take for a goose-egg to go away? My new rasberry shower gel made me feel like I was using my childhood lip gloss. :) That was fun.

I was kind of excited for Q's OT to come today so she could see all the amazing progress he's made in the last few weeks. I know she's going to be giddy when she sees what he's doing now. But, snow and sickness have put that off for another week. ;( Maybe he'll pull out a new feat to share by then!

I found out a couple weeks ago that a college friend of mine had lost her husband rather suddenly. Heart wrenching, I know what it's like to lose someone you love and not know how to go on, or breathe. Learning about her grief has lent a whole new dimension to my own personal struggles over the past month. It is amazing to me the depth of, of...I guess the word is feeling...that we experience in this mortal life. [Actually, I should rephrase that to some of us instead of 'we.' I have met people that have never had true struggles to deal with and therefore can't even comprehend what I am saying. Literally. (I've actually had more than one of them say that we should just focus on our blessings and be happy)] I know that the scriptures say that we have to experience the bad to truly experience the good. For a while now I've known how true that is, but I haven't liked it. But even in the last month I've been through this all over again. Two weeks ago I felt completely alone, trapped, hurt, furious and helpless. Hopeless, I could see no resolution to my problem. I had been praying for help for over a month and it seemed to only get worse. A few days later, a few words were spoken and my whole outlook changed. All is not resolved, but hope has been restored. I don't think I ever truly appreciated how essential hope is until I'd lost it.

I think this is my miracle for today: even when we feel we are in the gall of bitterness, Christ is still there watching over us. I know He lives! He will heal our hurts. And I know we will see Him and our lost loved ones again someday.

Developments

Quintin:

• started facing forward in the car. YIPPEEE!
  
• cut his 7th tooth this last week.
• commando crawled about 20 feet.
  
• started crawling on his hands and knees for short stints....MIRACLE! (he was crawling some but his head was also down to support - so he had 5 points on the floor...looks kinda silly)
  
• can move from laying to sitting and pull himself to standing with his elbows on the table.
• can walk holding one hand now, instead of two. (you need one free hand to carry a toy along with you, of course!)
• can stand on his own for half a minute.
• had his first bad fall--head slam onto the floor.
• met his 3rd Urologist. Children's Hospital was pretty cool!
• his tongue sticks out most of the time, now. (watch out if you try to kiss him)
  
• had a long visit with Aunt Becky and cousins yesterday - and LOVED it!
• can't figure out when and how long he wants to sleep. I think we're transitioning to one nap a day.
  

Wow, what a week.
Somehow I got a hair of some sort stuck into my heel on Tuesday. It developed into a subcutaneous infection by Wednesday. I tried to drain it but it continued painfully growing. It's really difficult to get through the toughest skin on the body! I was worried about it since we don't have insurance. My parents loaned us some money so I decided to go to the walk-in clinic on Thursday. I dropped Q off with Becky at TaeKwonDo (how much more exciting can it get for a 1 year old?) and went in. I think it was the same doctor as the last time I went. He was so nice. Did you know there are thousands of pounds of pressure per square inch on your heel while you're standing/walking? No wonder I couldn't walk. His procedure hardly hurt. He left me with a hole in my foot to go find some support so I could start walking again. (limping around on the ball of my foot was causing cramps all the way up my leg!) I just laid there and cried...I wasn't crazy, there really was a problem that needed dealing with, and he helped me. It feels so releasing to cry. I've been trying to for several months now to let off some of the stress, but couldn't until this week. I don't understand why things have to get so bad in order for me to let go. Only now I feel like I could cry anytime and it feels raw...don't know if I like that either.

Aside from when Andrew died, this last month has been the hardest month to live through of my life. I'm so grateful for Q, if it weren't for him I wouldn't have made it through. Same for Ian. Even if we would give up on things for ourselves, Q is worth anything in the world.

Our counseling appointment this week was incredible. I think something clicked and I just might see hope that we'll be okay down the road. Our counselor is incredible and somehow finds a way to see the good in the bad. Her perspective each week is invaluable. I find it curious that she answers a question each week that I actually asked the week before, maybe she doesn't notice. Or maybe she needed time to answer? Regardless, it's wonderful to get answers. She's teaching us how to spin in a positive direction instead of negative. This is starting to feel like a group project at school...you learn in class, go home and practice, then come back and get corrected and/or validated for your efforts. I'm really grateful.

I've started branching out of my chocolate chip cookie rut and making new types. It's a bit of an adventure. Ginger crinkles last month, chocolate cream cheese sandwich cookies this month. I pressed some with a cool snowman press we've had but never used. I tried lemon frosting on most of them and Nutella when I ran out. I think the Nutella was better. The cream cheese cookies were quite blah so I don't think we'll make those again.

I didn't expect to be so truly alone out here on Camano. I miss Davis and all its conveniences. Close stores, close neighbors to socialize with, warmth, sidewalks to stroll on, convenient things to do...I'm truly grateful we have such a nice place to stay for now, but it's still tough. When I was a kid I planned on living out in the boonies like this, but I don't think now is the time, yet.

Our neighbor Alice is teaching me what the local birds are.
We have Towhee,
Mourning dove,
Junco,
Nuthatch,

Chickadee,
Wren (I think, although mine are more grey) ,
Downy woodpeckerand
Northern Flicker woodpeckers and
two types of squirrels; pesky grey invader squirrels and
shy brown native squirrels. The Northern Flicker woodpecker is the largest, then the doves and Towhee.I enjoy being able to identify them as they use the bird feeder outside the window. Q and the cats enjoy the show as well. When we go outside we can hear the eagles chatting away in the trees and soaring in the wind above the house. Wonderful.

More Q videos

Daddy was spinning him in the chair.

Now that Q can crawl he's been discovering all sorts of fun new things. This day he found the cat feather and was DELIGHTED that they were actually interacting with him instead of running away! By the way I was on the phone during filming.

All winter Q will rip off any hat I put on his head to keep him warm. This time I showed him what it looked like in the mirror hoping he'd leave it on a little longer. He loved it!
Another day he's showing his 'cruising' skills and laughing at his reflection.