The Lord Giveth and He Taketh Away

Wow, what a week. Painful dental cleaning; painful failed attempts at blood draws by the quiet health insurance examiner; last days of relaxation; a full day in the classroom prepping for the new year; my first drive through Nevada to Idaho...

We found out Sunday about Justin's tragic death and were just sick for his wife and five kids. The funeral was on Friday in Boise and we decided that we needed to go, not just to honor him but support the awesome family he left behind. We were planning to play in San Francisco for our 5th anniversary(finally, we usually don't do anything on our ann.), but this was more important. Justin is the cousin Ian grew up playing with on every trip to Idaho, multiple times a year. There were so many people there, more than some stake conferences! The family itself almost took up the chapel. That man lived a FULL life and touched a lot of people along the way. I can't even describe the mix of emotions as his loved ones shared that they know Heavenly Father took him now for his own purposes, but it is so hard to cope with the loss. They feel the Lord's arms around them and all the prayers in their behalf. The messages shared were so inspiring, I am SO GRATEFUL for the gospel. Recognizing blessings at a time such as this is so imperative. Uncle Cortland and Aunt Sue, we love you! When all the men from one side of the family got up to sing a combination of primary songs our baby was kicking and moving around throughout the whole song! It must love primary music!

I also love all you wonderful family and friends that enrich my life everyday. You are a blessing to me. I am so glad we got to see you Mom & Dad, Laura, Christina & Benson, Aunt Tina & Kirk.

A couple months ago Bishop Gubler challenged the ward to read the Book of Mormon in 6 months, like Pres. Hinckley did a number of years ago. We were really slow to get started and are way behind. However we are doing it and the blessings in our lives, marriage and spirituality are incalculable. I've always known it makes a difference, but when I get out of the habit it's really hard to get started again. THANK YOU Bishop Gubler! We're so into it that I brought my scriptures along for our drive to read to Ian in the car. The book of Mosiah is amazing! I think it's my favorite book. It's so rich with doctrine and miracles! I love the gospel!

My sister also got me started on a series by Gerald Lund, The Kingdom and the Crown. It's a fictional account of a family in Galilee at the time of Christ and their conversion. I LOVE books that portray living around and interacting with Christ (Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites was awesome, too). I read the end to Ian on one of our drives to WA and a friend loaned me the 2nd book last week so I started it with Ian on this drive after reading the scriptures. There were times we were both choking back tears, so faith inspiring. It is fun and amazing to image what it would have been like to be there at His time and to have been able to witness the experiences related in the bible. I highly recommend it!

Sacrament was wonderful today, too. The speakers really shared from the Spirit about service and joy. Wonderful. Our choir sang a version of As I Have Loved You. I love the Savior. Then the missionaries shared a spiritual message after dinner tonight. Life is good.

Baby is doing fine so far, busy. We find out what it is on Tuesday! The shots go on.

Prayer

A cousin that Ian grew up with and was closest to (of the cousins) died in a plane crash yesterday. Please say a prayer for his young wife and children he left behind. Having lost a member of my immediate family I'm just sick for them tonight. I pray that the Lord watches over them and wraps his arms around them. I hurt for them.

Compelling

Since the digital switch of TV I haven't watched a lot of it. I hardly watch the news and only get tidbits here and there. Almost everything I hear from others about Obama and his plans has been negative and scary. I'm quite undecided about what my personal actions should be. I know we are obligated to stand for the right and be a member of our community...I just don't know how I fit into that. It was all quite clear when Prop 8 came up, but the prophet hasn't made any requests about this stuff. I'm still thinking on it.
I got this link in an email a week or so ago and found his words and actions quite compelling. A lot to think about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeYscnFpEyA

I'm also torn about my teacher's union that is contributing millions of dollars (obligatory union dues) to the push for gay marriage. I spent time investigating the NEA's policy after learning about their devotion and read that yes, they want them to have equal rights with traditional marriages, but it doesn't have to be called 'marriage' per se, civil union would be fine with them...which is kind of what we've been trying to maintain. The part I really don't like is they want to start teaching it in schools, that I don't appreciate. If I withdraw from the union do I have any job security? My ongoing dilemma.

Tickles

In the words of my grandma Alvina, "I'm not complaining, but..." this is getting silly. My stomach is itching like CRAZY. I think it's both from stretching and healing bruises from the shots. Now on top of that our baby is doing a jig in there all day long at it tickles! So I'm itching on the outside and tickling on the inside, this just isn't fair. I never expected this. I'm thinking I never noticed this with Andrew because I was working full time and under duress at this stage. I really appreciate that the baby is healthy and moving around, I really do. Too silly.

Sick

I just got home from the doctor and it turns out I don't have a flu, I now have bronchitis! My annual curse. I was afraid of giving our poor fetus shaken-baby syndrome until I thought about how it's nice and insulated in all that fluid - a nice buffer. The doctor said it's possible I picked it up from all the sick people I was around three weeks ago and tried desperately to avoid, oh well. So, it looks like I'll be coughing my guts out for a few weeks.

4 months

I'm now sixteen weeks and I can feel the baby kicking, that's exciting. I decided today that I'm NOT getting used to doing the shots like I thought I was - especially when it hurts! I found out this week that my sister-in-law Lindsey is due a week after me, yeah! We've both had problems with our recent pregnancies, so we'll both probably be nervous the whole time.
I can't believe the last two times I've been to the doctor they've told me I'm not gaining enough weight! I don't even remember gaining any wait until the 5th month with Andrew. It's not like I'm starving myself either, I've been eating!

I've had several bouncing people ask me if I'm super excited and my answers have been a little more tempered than expected. I wanted to explain that getting pregnant is only about 1/3 of the battle for Ian and I. The rest is making it through the ENTIRE pregnancy successfully. We're not really going to be overjoyed until we have a healthy baby in our arms because that will be the real thing. I am excited, but I've been this far before and lost the baby so we're kind of 'waiting to see.'

I'll find out what we're having the second week of August, the day before everyone comes back to school. I anticipate that my students will be very excited because they were really excited for me to adopt last year. One of them even bought me a baby blanket in preparation.

On a side note, I had to share this adorable picture of Razor taking a nap in his bag-fort next to Ian. He is so cute! Thanks Grandma for leaving him a fort to play in! He lives in that thing when he's not snoozing on the bed.

More Good News!

We just got home from a trip to see family in Washington. It was wonderful, beautiful weather and lots of fun. Busy, busy. The little kids shared their cold with Ian :(.

I got home and checked my email....I finally have my Clear Level II Teaching Credential in Special Ed in California! Yeahhhhhhh! Party! I'm so excited I can't tell ya! This means I'm actually, finally considered qualified (on paper) to do my job!

Oh, and Ian's background check from Washington finally came through...so as soon as mine's in we'll be foster parents, too!

Requested info: I'm currently 13 weeks along and am due on New Years Eve. I will probably have it before then because they have to coordinate my stopping my shots and then inducing me and stuff so somewhere between Christmas and New Years I think. I'll find out the sex in August and let you know.